Carissa's Birth Story

Prenatal Care

I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom, but I have been terrified of pregnancy my whole life. The idea of giving birth scared me. My mom would share stories of her birth with me, and it wasn’t what she wanted. Anytime I would reach out to others, I would hear nothing but their horror stories. It is rare to witness the good that comes from birth. Prior to becoming pregnant, I wanted to educate myself about the best way to give birth. After reading many books and doing research I trusted my body to do what it needed to do. I wanted to give birth as naturally as possible with no interventions. I knew having a home birth comes with its own concerns so having found The Midwife Center was so exciting! They allow you the ability to have a home birth experience but with medical professionals. At 12 weeks pregnant I switched from my doctor with Magee and went to The Midwife Center. I immediately was relieved I made the switch. Walking into that first appointment and having woman-centered care was a game changer. No unnecessary vaginal exams, no weight checks, no scares about the baby's development. The midwives listen to you and provide advice without judgment, which provided me room to be excited for my pregnancy and removed those fears.

I still held concerns for what could happen at birth. The first thing my husband said was, “what happens if you bleed out?” Thankfully The Midwife Center has so many resources in place to prevent complications, and they will transfer you to a hospital in any medical emergency. I knew two things to be true. 1. Childbirth hurts, so if it’s going to hurt it will be on my terms. 2. There can be medical complications and being educated on what can happen helped me make the decisions correctly for myself and my baby.

 

Laboring at Home

39 weeks and 1 day. Friday October 4, 2024. 3am: I was woken up with a sharp pain in my lower back. It came and went. So fast. I rolled over and went back to sleep and was quickly awoken 30 minutes later to that same pain. I got out of bed, made something to eat and relaxed on the couch until my husband woke up for work. At 6 am I was still having a sharp pain 30 minutes apart and I told my husband, Joe, “I think I’m having contractions!” We weren’t sure if he should stay home or go to work. I wasn’t sure since I’ve never felt this before. We knew the beginning stages of labor can take several hours but he decided to stay home and help me.

We waited all day. I started keeping time in a notebook and was able to see how close the contractions were coming. From 20 minutes apart, to 15 minutes, to 7 minutes. It’s now 3pm. I relaxed and laid around all day. Breathing through each intense sharp contraction. We had breakfast and lunch together and I was able to get a shower. Each moment I thought this is the last time it’s just the two of us. By 4 pm they were 4-5 minutes apart and I was no longer able to talk when a contraction was happening. Each time I just focused on my breathing. I was so scared. This part here is where everything changed. I looked in the mirror. I looked at myself and kept repeating, “You can do this, and you got this!” Looking at myself and repeating that phrase gave me so much strength to continue. We called The Midwife Center and grabbed our bags and headed in.

Carissa poses for a photo before making her way to The Midwife Center during labor. She has a towel in her hand in case her water broke and a bag in case she got sick.

The Birth

6pm: We finally arrived at The Midwife Center. It was rush hour traffic and that hour drive is a blur in my memory. I just had my eyes closed and focused on my breathing. I threw up twice from the pain but tried to continue drinking water because I knew I needed to be hydrated. Once we arrived I had a cervical check and was 5cm dilated. I was so happy we’re halfway there!! This is when it finally clicked, I’m having a baby and she’s coming soon!

I started labor in the tub first on my back and then on my hands and knees. Joe rubbed my back and pressed through each contraction. He put on a Michael Buble playlist. The lights were dim and I relaxed in the water. He helped me remember that the farther you are along the contractions change and they go in waves. His strength gave me strength. I was worried my water hadn’t broken yet and knew that could delay birth. At 7:30pm my water broke in the tub and again I was overcome with a wave of relief. Everything was going well. She’s on her way.

I knew I needed to transition out of the tub, but where did I want to go? As soon as I stood up I felt the overwhelming urge to squat. We went into the bathroom and I labored on the toilet for some time. Joe kept applying pressure to my back and he was worried about leaving bruises but I told him to continue because it helped so much with the pain. The midwives had switched shifts at 7pm so I now was with Aya (midwife), Antoinette (student), and Lily (nurse), and they asked if I wanted another cervical check. I said yes and moved back to the bed. I was fully dilated and ready to push. I was amazed, it was now 8pm and I was so ready for this next part. I focused solely on my breathing. Every exhale was a deep guttural moan with each contraction that came. I tried to relax and just breathe. Pain wasn’t even a thought in my mind as I was just doing it. All hands were on me, on my legs, my back, and my shoulders. It was then I had an IV placed because there were concerns about being dehydrated.

I moved from my hands and knees, back to the toilet for some time and eventually back to the bed. I lied on my side as I had little energy left and heard “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” by Whitney Houston playing. I knew I wanted this song to be the song I pushed my baby girl out to. I don’t know how much time had passed then. Was it 20 minutes or 5, but I pushed with each contraction, giving it everything I had and catching my breath in the moments between. My baby girl was born at 8:54pm that evening.

After Birth

I laid back and just kept breathing. My Hannah lied on my chest. My baby girl was healthy and on me so I was content. I just kept practicing my breathing. We did delayed cord clamping and Joe was able to cut the umbilical cord. After I pushed my placenta out I was losing a lot of blood and the midwives were concerned. I received two shots, an IV, and a suppository to help shrink my uterus to prevent bleeding. The midwife did stomach compressions and talked with me about what would happen if I needed to be transferred to the hospital. We were all relaxed and I understood what could happen but in the moment I just focused on my breathing. After an hour from birth the bleeding had subsided and I started trying to breastfeed Hannah. It was so calm. They eventually took Hannah to weigh, measure and diaper her. Around 11pm I finally let my mom come in to meet her as she had been anxiously pacing the parking lot outside. The midwives made us breakfast and we got to enjoy the remainder of the night as a family of three.

Baby Hannah lies in Carissa's arms shortly after birth.

Postpartum

Around 1am I was amazed at how my body felt. I had surgeries previously and both times I had experienced weeks of recovery. Hours after birth I felt totally normal. Sure my body and muscles were sore but I wasn’t in a fog from anesthesia and I certainly wasn’t in pain like I had been after surgery. I had planned to use nitrous oxide during birth and since it went so quickly I never needed it. I have asthma and it never once was affected during birth. I didn’t even think about my asthma until everything was over. My recovery at home afterwards was incredible and so quick. We were able to leave that morning around 7am and it was so nice to be able to recover at home that weekend.

I had so many fears for birth. Is my asthma going to be a concern? I am maternally obese - is that a concern? Am I walking enough each day and strong enough to physically do this? Looking back now I wish I could tell myself to put all those fears aside. Birth is so natural and our bodies are made to do this. We just have to be able to trust them and breathe. I am so thankful I didn’t have to advocate for what I wanted during my birth in a hospital setting. Thankful my only cervical checks were during birth and there was never pressure to be induced. Thankful I had the ability and freedom to move around in birth and not be contained to a bed. Choosing The Midwife Center was by far the best decision for me and I only hope to advocate for women to fight for what they deserve when it comes to their birth.